The Best Gift You Can Give …

Most of you know I do quite a bit of traveling. So it won't surprise any of you I was tuning out the stewardess, er, flight attendant, as she was giving her prepared speech on what to do in the event of an emergency when I was flying back from San Diego last week. Turns out, she actually had something important to say. I just didn't realize it until later.

If you are like most business owners, you spend countless hours each week taking care of the needs of employees, clients, affiliates, spouses, families, friends, neighbors, and the list seems endless. All this is done in the effort to try to give all of these individuals we care about whatever they need when they need it.

The result is often the same. Many people you try to help aren't happy, additional problems surface, and you shake your head in disbelief wondering why it didn't turn out better. "All I tried to do was help," you sigh.

Sound familiar?

The problem is that you didn't take care of yourself first. Therefore, you weren't good to anyone else. While you felt you were helping, you were actually passed out due to "lack of oxygen."

Some believe that when we give and give of ourselves we will be fulfilled, but the truth is, we just end up wearing ourselves out. Take care of yourself first and then you can give those around you your true "best self". While it may seem selfish, it isn't.

Bonus Examples

Just after this Gumbo was written, two good friends and people I greatly admire in this business recently gave me advice right up this alley … on consecutive days. One on Friday and the other yesterday (Saturday). I'd like to share their wisdom with you, as when paired with the "oxygen mask" example it fully completes the Gumbo.

The first related to a struggle I was having after an online training I had given. Many of the attendees were failing. "You have to realize that 80-90% of the students are going to fail," my friend said. He stated that it isn't the content that failed, but the people themselves. Pareto was a smart guy and when he introduced his 80-20 rule, he knew it would have a widespread impact. "So which will you concentrate on? The 90% who fail or the 10% who succeed?"

Unfortunately, human nature is to concentrate on those who are failing. By doing so, we set ourselves up for additional feelings of failure, instead of making a stronger impact with those who are having success.

The second was in line with productivity methods. "Too many business owners concentrate only on tasks that are revenue based." In other words, if it doesn't make money, they don't do it. This can lead to an "unkept" business owner. Oftentimes, your ROI needs to also have an "enjoyment" factor. For example, speaking engagements may not bring any revenue to your business, but if it is something that you love, it will spur your creativity and improve your business indirectly, because you are taking care of yourself.

The first example shows that by concentrating on what is working (those who are succeeding) and ignoring that which isn't working, your focus is going into positive areas, thus sharpening your ability to be both effective and successful. In the second example it is clear that by enjoying what you do, even though it isn't bringing in direct revenue, is vital to your business' health.

Really? Is that true? Think for a moment …

Is there anything better than an employee that comes in each morning whole and together, ready to work? A boss who can run a business effectively because he took time out to go fishing with his son the day before?

Your best self is the best gift you can give.